Never a Dull Moment

Today my brother smelt gas in the house, so he called up the fire department and explained the situation. About 20 minutes later a firetruck and EMT trucks arrived. They said that there was a leak and that the carbon monoxide levels were extremely high...205! They had us all evacuate the house and since I am pregnant they sent an ambulance to come check me out, everything was fine but they had me lay in the back of the ambulance with an oxygen mask. Thankfully now the house is completely aired out and I am back inside. I must say this has been one interesting pregnancy!

Feeling Good!

Everything has been going great, I feel amazing. I am so happy and grateful everything is smoothing out. Today was the first time in over a month I sat at my Kitchen table for breakfast and lunch. It felt good being able to get up and even that little walk over to the kitchen was a good feeling. Tomorrow I have another doctors appointment and sonogram, I cant wait to see my fluid levels and hopefully they will be able to tell me how big my girls got! well thats all for now, be sure to check back tomorrow for the results after my doctors visit!

3-D Sonogram

My two little angels, Aubree Lee (bottom) and Avery Rose (top)  I am so incredibly in love and can not wait to hold them in my arms!

25 Weeks!

Todays marks 25 weeks! Looking back on this past month, things were definitely extremely hectic, and have been an emotional roller coaster. As much as I had enough of laying here 24/7 I know it's something I have to do to make sure my babies are safe. Iv'e gave up so many little privileges I never thought twice about having to be grateful for. For the past month I was unable to be left alone, someone had to be with me 24/7 just like a babysitter. Since I am unable to walk up and down the stairs, and do not have a shower on the main floor of my house I am unable to take a real shower. Iv'e been using a little tote filled with water and soap and washing myself with a washcloth while sitting on the toilet. Then when it comes to washing my hair, it takes a few peoples help. I lay with my head dangling off the bed into a big tote filled with water while my mom shampoos and conditions it and then rinses it out. Then when it comes time to eat, I cant just get up and go get food I have to wait till someone has a free minute to make me something. Although this may not sound too bad cause someone is serving you, it actually does have its down side. For example if I want say cookies but my mom or whoever is watching me says no, then i'm shit out of luck. Even something as simple as being able to reach something, if its not arms length away I have to ask someone to hand it to me. Sometimes, well most of the time I just feel useless. Also for the past month I am stuck in my house all day and night with the exception of doctors appointments. But when I have a doctors visit iv'e been using my grandmas wheelchair so that I keep off my feet as much as possible. I look forward to the day I am able to return to my normal new life, with my two little girls.

I just want to give a special thanks to my friends and family who have been such an amazing help and such a great support system!
Thank you everyone, you know who you are :) If I tried to list all your names i'd be here forever.

Home Sweet Home

It was now October 19th and things were looking great,  I was 24 weeks 1 day! I was so happy to be home. Later that night I did have some discharge but this time I knew it was nothing to worry about I realized the speculum exam irritates the vagina and can cause some discharge. And that explains the discharge I had after the first speculum exam on October 1st. I truly believe that having a positive attitude is half the battle and getting rest and keeping hydrated is the other half. Doctors may know a lot but they don't know everything. Plus they deal with patients like this all the time, so its nothing new to them but you being the parent, you are the one who has an emotional attachment to the baby or babies. Its times like these where your gut feelings and parental instincts kick in! and it is extremely important to listen to them! I know I am so grateful I ignored the doctors because here I am 25 weeks tomorrow going strong!

Readmitting Day!

On October 18th 2013 I was readmitted into the hospital to get my steroid shot. The plan was to give me the shot and then monitor me for a few days and send me home. When I got there they had to put the IV port in me again, this time they only stuck me twice but it was still painful. When they stuck me the first time they hit a valve in my vein and it started to swell, so they tried a second time, this time I was dripping blood all down my arm. Finally that was over. Then it was time for a sonogram, still both the babies looked great and the fluids were 4cm and 5cm. This was such a good sign because the fluid was up and I haven't leaked in a little over 2 weeks. Then I was sent back to my room, and a nurse came in to take my blood and get a urine sample to check for infection and to check the ph level in my urine. A few hours later the doctor came in and said I may have some good news for you. She said that since my fluid levels were up and that I haven't leaked in a while it is possible that my water sealed the leak. She said this was rare but you might be the lucky one since you beat all the odds. She also said if this is the case you no longer need the shot because you have no need for it. She said originally your ph level was 8, but then just before it was 7.5 which was still an if-y number so she had a nurse come in to catheterize me so that they would have a clean catch of urine. Being catheterized is no fun, it hurt very bad it felt like someone was sticking a knife up my vagina. Later that night she came back with the ph level results and it was now 6, this number was still not reassuring. So for that night until the morning she had me on complete bed rest, I could not get up I had to use a bed pan. This was so that in the morning she could do a speculum exam and see if there was any pooling of fluid or if there was any leaking. Thankfully for my wonderful boyfriend that night he helped me with using the bed pan. Once again using the bed pan was not a great experience but I was doing it all for my babies, I was doing whatever I had to. The next morning the doctor came in bright and early 6am, in fact it was not bright outside it was still dark but I didn't mind because after this exam I was able to get up to use the bathroom again. Once the exam was over she had told me that there was no pooling of fluid and that when she had me cough there was nothing leaking. So from here it seems as if you sealed your leak. This meant I was being discharged and was going home!

The Road Starts to Smooth

Things start to look up I was now 23 weeks and 3 days!

October 14th: Sonogram, both babies doing great. Fluids were 3.5 cm and 5.3 cm and they both weighed 1 pound 5 ounces each! I was so happy

October 15th: This may sound gross and sorry for TMI but I started to have this booger like discharge, it was sometimes a light brown-ish color but most of the time it looked like snot, similar to when your sick and you blow your nose. At first I was worried but once I spoke to my aunt and checked online it seemed to be normal and something that just comes entering your 6th month. Also the brownish color, I was informed could just be old blood.

The big day was slowly approaching October 18th! The day I will be 24 weeks and when I was able to get the steroid shot.

October 18th: Today was the day, I was 24 weeks and was being admitted into the hospital to get my shot! I couldn't wait to see the doctors and nurses to see the look on their face when they walked through the door and saw me. Thats right I made it to 24 weeks I knew I would even though they didn't.

The Troubles Inbetween

The first week home was good, I had no issues but then the scares began.

October 1st: 1am I leaked so I went to the hospital. They did a speculum exam and sonogram. Fluids were 3cm and 5cm. Got sent back home still was too early and there was nothing the could do. (21 weeks and 4 days)

October 2nd: I leaked about enough to fill a panty liner twice and this time it wasn't clear, it was more of a peach-ish tan-ish color. This time I just stayed home and waited for my doctors appointment the next day. At the doctors I informed them about the color change and they said it was normal and everything was fine. Also I received some good news, I was infection free! the test results came back negative.  (21 weeks 5 days)

October 4th: 2am I leaked a small amount of pink, but not much maybe about enough to cover 1/3 of a panty liner. So I went to the hospital and they wanted to do another speculum exam. But I refused I was not risking infection when I was not having contractions or feeling any pain. But they did do another sonogram and once again the fluids were fine, dropped a little but still at a normal level. (22 weeks)

October 10th: Leaked a spot of pink, that just seemed to be the end of it. Didn't really concern me too much.

Now from here the next mile stone was to get to October 14th when I would have a sonogram to find out how much they weigh.

Taking Matters into my Own Hands

Although the doctors made it seem as if there was no hope, I knew that if I wanted things to work out and be okay I needed to stay strong and take control of the situation. Thankfully I have such an amazing family as a support system, which definitely helped so much. My mom, brothers, boyfriend uncles and aunts did so much research and used their own previous experiences to help guide me down this rough patch. First off, I needed to be on complete bed rest with the exception to getting up to use the bathroom. My mom has been so amazing through this all and accommodated me by moving my bed into the living room since I am unable to go up and down stairs. Next was I needed to stay extremely hydrated, drinking over a gallon a day for a few reasons. One it decreases your chances of having contractions and going into labor, also keeping hydrated, keeps the babies hydrated as well which means the babies will urinate which replenishes the lost fluid. To help keep track of my fluids I would write down everything I drank. While laying down it is important to stay on your left side for best circulation. Although it sounds easy just having to lay down all day, it got boring and eventually I got to a point where I became so frustrated because I just wanted to get up and do normal activities. I laid in a bed 24/7 on my left side, where I ate all three of my meals. But at least at night time I got to lay next to my boyfriend, which helped me get through the night knowing he was right there next to me.

The Next Morning

It was now September 24th and the high risk specialist came in to talk to me. Once they entered the room my body immediately filled with anger. I knew exactly what they were going to say and I just didn't want to hear it. And just like a broken record they began to say, it was definitely your water that ruptured, and that most people go into labor within a week. Normally they give a steroid shot to help speed up the development of the lungs when they suspect you will deliver but since I am not 24 weeks there is nothing they can do for me. I still stuck with my decision to keep my babies and let nature take its course, but still the doctors continued with their negative attitude and gave me no hope. I said to them its almost like your trying to convince me to terminate my pregnancy when I repeatedly told you my decision. They said we have to tell you all the possibilities and outcomes. I responded yes I understand but once is enough and once I told you my decision that I am keeping the babies you can just throw all that negative crap out the window cause I don't want to hear it. I became nasty with the doctors because they weren't supporting me and my decision, it was like they were all against me and my babies. Finally they shut up and left the room. When they came back it was to give me my discharge papers and to schedule me to come back on October 18th when I would be 24 weeks and was then considered a viable pregnancy and they can administer the steroid shot for my babies lungs.  I was now on my way home and couldn't be any happier to be leaving that hospital.

First Stony Brook Experience

Still September 23rd, just later that day I was now sitting in Stony Brook Hospital in antepartum. There they did another sonogram, listened to the heartbeats and so on. Then the Doctors, well residents came in to talk to me. Again saying things I did not want to hear. They explained the situation. Which was, I had ruptured but only one of the babies sacs. Although you ruptured, your fluids are still at a good normal level. But since you did rupture it most likely was due to an infection which we would be unable to treat. Most people in your situation choose to terminate their pregnancy because low fluids lead to developmental issues with the lungs and limb movement and since you are only 20 weeks you are not considered a viable pregnancy until you are 24 weeks. Although I kept saying I am keeping these babies, I am not terminating my pregnancy, the doctors still proceeded with negative feedback. This angered me to no end because I was making it clear that I had my mind set that I am keeping them and I am willing to play the waiting game to see what happens from here. Once again they kept saying negative things such as I wouldn't count on your rupture sealing over because that rarely happens. Finally they sent me to my own room where I stayed over night. The doctors and nurses there had no hope I would make it that much longer, they were convinced I would go into labor that day or within a few days which meant losing my babies. They actually told my mom "tell the family your suffering a loss". My mom was totally thrown off by this and asked the nurse what she was talking about and she said "your daughter is losing these babies tonight". My mom immediately started to cry but did not tell me any of this because she knew that I needed to remain strong and keep positive. Later the nurses told me the high risk specialist will be in tomorrow morning to talk to me.

Nothing but Chaos

I now returned to the doctor for the second time that day. Once I got there they sent me directly over to St. Catherines hospital where they did the culture to see if it was my water and did another culture to check for infection, they did another sonogram, listened to their heartbeats, and hooked me up to a machine to monitor the babies and watch out for contractions. Also they hooked me up to an IV to hydrate me and took blood to also check for infection. Since I was so dehydrated they had to stick me 4 times with the needle to try and get the IV port in, it was very painful. Still the whole time I was there I couldn't help but cry hysterically I was so scared to lose my babies. Once they confirmed that it was my water that ruptured they said that they will have to transfer me to Stony Brook because they couldn't handle any deliveries before 30 weeks. Once I arrive at Stony Brook they told me I will be seeing high risk specialist. I was then transferred by ambulance over to Stony Brook hospital.

The Beginning to a Long Journey

Now it is September 23rd and I am sitting in class when I feel 3 gushes of fluid come out of me. I immediately went to the bathroom and pulled down my pants to find my bottoms soaked with that same clear fluid only this time it was more. I then called my mom and she advised me to call my doctor immediately, so I did. I called my doctor and they said come as soon as you can. So within 30 minutes I arrived at my doctors and my mom had met me there. My doctor then did a speculum exam to see if I was leaking fluid, which I was not. Then I was sent in for a sonogram again to check on the babies and make sure everything was okay. Just like last time everything looked good. I then was sent back into the room to talk to my doctor. She proceeded to say we have a couple things it may be, one it could be urine she said sometimes during pregnancy women get UTI's and don't even know it because they don't have any of the symptoms but they may experience wet undies. Second it could be your water, but thats worst case scenario. She also began to say things I never wanted to hear. She said that if this is the case and you did break your water most women choose to terminate their pregnancy because this could be harmful to the babies development of the lungs and limb movement. Once these words came from her mouth all I could do is break down hysterically, it was all a terrible nightmare. She then said I personally don't think you broke your water I think its just urine. This kind of irritated me because I knew it was not urine, I was sure it was something else I just didn't know what. My doctor then sent me home and said I have you scheduled to come back tomorrow to get a culture done to test to see if you broke your water, but if you experience anymore leaking come back right away. When I arrived home I went straight to my room to lay down and rest. About an hour later I leaked again.

Listen to your Gut

On September 9th, 2013 I woke up and went to the bathroom and noticed my underwear were soaked. I was incredibly confused and concerned because I had no idea what had happened, so I made an emergency doctors appointment. Later that day I arrived at my appointment and informed my doctor what had happened. She then asked me a series of questions regarding the situation. Such as what color was the fluid, how much and did it have an odor? I then responded it was clear, it was enough to soak my underwear and no it did not smell. I then was sent in for a sonogram to make sure everything was okay. At this point I was about 4 and a half months and was scheduled to find out the genders on September 25th. Both me and Corey were hoping to be able to find out the genders that day, since we were already there. The sonogram began and everything looked perfect, so then the sono tech began to see if she was able to tell us the genders. After looking and waiting for the babies to be in the right position we then found out we were having 2 girls. Aubree Lee and Avery Rose <3 Now the sonogram was complete and we exited the room and meet with my doctor again. She said well everything looks great. I was still unaware of what the discharge was but she said it was normal and that it may have been urine. Once leaving the doctors, I was still feeling uneasy about the situation, my gut was trying to tell me not to listen to the doctor. But like any other, the doctor said everything was fine so I returned to my normal life, driving going to school and doing normal daily activities. Then 5 days later I woke up with the same discharge but didn't think anything of it because my doctor said it was normal.

Telling the Family

It has now come that time to inform the family of my pregnancy. I knew everyone was going to have their opinions and was going to say what they wanted to say but I had prepared myself for it all. I had mixed reactions from everyone. Some were so happy and excited but others were angry and disappointed. Although everyone had their opinions I knew my mind was set and nothing anyone could say or do would change my mind. I knew that I was keeping these babies no matter what and was ready to do whatever it takes for the both of them. In such a short time these babies became my everything<3

My First Ultrasound

Like most I was so incredibly nervous. The day finally came,  July 1st, 2013, my first ultrasound appointment. By this time I was about 2 months pregnant. When I got there me and my mom waited in the waiting room for them to call my name, I was very anxious and scared yet really excited. Finally I heard "Leanne" that was me, it was my turn to go back. When I got into the room they informed me the first sonogram would be an internal. And so it began, literally 2 seconds into the sonogram, the ultrasound tech said "I have amazing news" although she said she had amazing news I was still so nervous. She then proceeded to say "your having twins". Right after the words stumbled from her mouth I looked at my mom and both our eyes filled with tears of joy and happiness. I just couldn't believe it I was having twins, it was like a miracle sent from above because twins weren't heard of in my family nor my boyfriend Corey's. Next stop was to Corey's job to share the news. Once the words fell from my mouth Corey was in disbelief he just didn't think it could be true. Even after showing him the sonogram pictures he still didn't believe me, it was a lot to take in. It was going to take sometime getting used to.

The First Doctors Visit

On June 25th, I had my first doctors appointment. The purpose of this appointment was basically to give a urine sample to confirm my pregnancy, get papers to go get some blood work done and to set up the first ultrasound appointment. It was a nice fast and easy appointment. Next is the ultrasound visit, I couldn't wait!

When it all Started

Finding out your pregnant is different for everyone. For me, it was on June 15th. I was 19 and was in complete shock and began to fill with so many emotions. The second the test read positive, millions of thoughts ran through my mind. Although it was not planned, and may not have been the right time, I never once thought about terminating my pregnancy. I knew things wouldn't be easy but that didn't mean I was going to give up. From that day on I was fully determined to do whatever I had to for my baby. The next step was setting up the first doctors visit.